That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
