Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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