I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
