Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
