Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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