Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
