If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
