what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
should my penis look like a turkey
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
