i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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