Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
