At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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