my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
