I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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