We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
