You work out of a Hotel?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
