She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
