i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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