he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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