My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize