I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If I die, sorry about rent.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
