u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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