Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
