I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
