he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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