tequila makes me forget i have legs
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
