I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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