thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Naked Twister starts at high noon
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
