If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
