Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize