The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
