Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
operation have a gay friend backfired
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
