Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
