I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
