FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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