HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
