Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
