you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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