I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
