dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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