and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
