By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's blow job season.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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