Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
