Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
