Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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