Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
