Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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