This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
