i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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