i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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