i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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