I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
