Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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