best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
