You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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