Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
