is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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